Welcome friend. I see you are interested in the Order of the Flying Monkey. Excellent. We are always looking for new members to increase our strength. I'll cut straight to the chase and rather than tell you what we stand for, I'll let one of the founding members, Flying Monkey with Cheese, explain exactly how we came about.

[Transmission Begins]

Subject: the monkies are restless & my dog has flees

m&m's are the coolest things in the world. they have a candy shell

that will not melt in your hand but it will in your mouth. (or so

they say)

i didn't really beleive them so i put them to the test. my

conclusion:

THEY WERE WRONG!!! DEAD WRONG!!!

now i have this shit all over my hands. they taste good.

like to lick them. (but i have always enjoyed licking my own hands.)

someone has lied to me and the rest of the world.

this crime cannot go unpunished! join me in my fight against THE LIE.

if we let them get away with this there is no telling how far this

thing can go.

pritty soon they may stop using real meat in the food at McD's.

(and not even admit it)

politions will stop keeping the promisses they make, and then, i ask

you my children, what kind of planet will this be.

join me in my quest to free the monkeys!!!!!!!!!!

uh oh here comes my teacher, i'm going to get into major trouble in a

second. i'll make contact with you again at a later date.

It's quite simple you see, we stand for nothing (except walking, that's pretty mandatory). But we believe in the justices in life - things can not go on the way they are! It is completely unacceptable!! Our numbers are small as of this writing, but soon, oh yes soon, we shall become a dominate partner in the world, and then, and then, we shall see what they shall say!

If you're interested in joining the ranks of The Order of the Flying Monkey, all you need do is enter your email address in the form below to join our mailing list, and your new life will begin. You must have a codename before you officially become a member in good standing so please, think hard and make the right choice. You know you want to...